I’ve Been Honoring the Winter Solstice Since I Was a Teenager—This Year Hits Different
I first began honoring the winter solstice when I was just a teenager, but it wasn’t until this year that I learned there are actually 12 days to traditional yule celebration, each day/night dedicated to a different contemplative theme … and my goodness, this year I am certainly here for it.
Maybe that’s fitting. Midlife has a way of slowing us down enough to notice what we once rushed past. Especially practices that ask for patience, stillness, and trust in cycles we can’t control.
This year, instead of collapsing into the familiar frenzy between Christmas and New Year’s—too much food, too much scrolling, too much pressure to reset/let go/ plan. I’m choosing something different. I’m choosing to wind down, not ramp up. To linger in the dark, savor it, rather than rush toward the light. This, by the way, is huge for me.
And for that reason, I thought I’d share here how I plan to close out this year, guided by the ancient rhythm of the 12 Days of Yule. Here’s my roadmap ….
The Dark Comes First
The Winter Solstice marks the longest night of the year. In many modern interpretations, it’s framed as the triumphant return of the light, but that’s not how I’m approaching it.
This year, I’m honoring the dark itself.
On the solstice, I’ll be creating an ice altar—a bowl of water set with leaves, herbs, stones, and small offerings, left outside to freeze overnight (though in northern California I’ll be sticking it in the freezer :-)) It’s a ritual of suspension. Of pause. Of allowing what is unfinished, unresolved, or unnamed to be held in stillness rather than forced into meaning.
There will be no intentions set that night. No resolutions. No transformation stories.
Just the quiet acknowledgement that some wisdom only emerges when we stop trying to move forward.
The 12 days as a liminal bridge
Traditionally, the 12 Days of Yule span the time between the solstice and the New Year (or a day before/after). This marks a liminal corridor between what has ended and what has not yet begun.
What I love about this framework is that it mirrors something I see again and again in midlife and perimenopause:
the need for integration rather than reinvention.
Each day carries its own subtle theme of ancestry, stillness, shadow, intuition, creativity, commitment. But none of them ask us to hustle toward clarity. Instead, they invite us to listen. To tend the hearth. To rest. To let something slowly take shape beneath the surface.
This feels especially important in a culture that treats January 1st like a starting gun.
Here are the themes I’m choosing to explore his year. Some days I’ll be practicing solo and others I’ll share with loved ones. Please know, that if this tradition speaks to you, you can switch up any of the themes so they feel personal to you. If you’re interested I plan to post a journal prompt and small ritual on IG, so feel free to join us there.
Day 1 – Winter Solstice | Embracing the Dark.
Day 2 – Ancestry & Lineage
Day 3 – Hearth & Home
Day 4 – Stillness
Day 5 – Shadow & Truth
Day 6 – Gestation & Dreaming
Day 7 – The Returning Light
Day 8 – Intuition
Day 9 – Creativity
Day 10 – Commitment
Day 11 – Blessings & Reciprocity
Day 12 – Vision & Intention
Midlife has changed how I meet the dark—and how I’m choosing to end this year.
As someone who works with women in midlife, I’m increasingly convinced that perimenopause is an initiation of sorts. And initiations require darkness. They require unknowing. They require periods where nothing appears to be happening at all, except maybe various degrees of discomfort.
The 12 Days of Yule offer a container for exactly that kind of threshold space. They remind us that rest is not a reward for productivity. That stillness is not stagnation and that becoming doesn’t always look like doing.
Closing Thoughts: Walking with the Light Not ahead of it
By the time the New Year arrives, the light will be returning. Slowly. Incrementally. On its own timeline. By February we should be able to see a notable difference in quality and quantity of light (which is honored through a different pagan celebration called Imbolc/Brigid’s Day).
My only intention this year though, is to be where we are, not rush ahead of it, not demand answers from it, not turn it into a project.
Just this:
I do not rush the light. I walk with it.
If you’re feeling the call to slow down, to soften the edges of this transition, or to honor what’s still unfolding beneath the surface, the 12 Days of Yule might offer a beautiful place to land. You’re welcome to join me in this liminal time on IG, where I’ll post daily journal prompts and small rituals to help ground this time.
You don’t have to believe anything in particular.
You don’t have to do it perfectly.
You just have to be willing to stay.
Wishing you all a peaceful and loved-up end to 2025.
Jessika
Online Therapy for Women in California - the Support You’ve Been Seeking.
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Other services offered by Jessika Fruchter, LMFT- Therapy for Women
In addition to providing Therapy for Women in California, I also offer online psychotherapy and expressive arts therapy for teen girls in California.
Other Services Include:
Groups and Workshops for Women: Magic happens when women come together! I offer new groups and workshops quarterly, both online and in-person. Topics and themes have included:
Therapeutic Writing
Mask Making
Tarot Practice for Developing Intuition
Women’s Circles
Clinical Consultation for Therapists:
I specialize in collaborating with clinicians who want to integrate expressive arts therapy or psychospiritual practices such as tarot therapy, dreamwork, altar making, and ritual, into their practices. I also offer training on these topics. To learn more about my offerings for clinicians visit: www.mycreativepractice.com.
Training for Psychotherapists:
I have a passion for providing creative and useful training to teams on the front line of community mental health. Past training has focused on trauma-informed expressive arts therapy interventions and burnout prevention. Training may also be developed/tailored based on the unique need of the team. Contact me here.
Books and Blogs:
Check out my first book project for teens published in September 2021. For articles and essays about women’s mental health and wellness, check out my blog, Say More and you can also subscribe to receive the latest updates.