COVID Chronicles: Yes, You May Be Having an 'Existential Crisis' and Here's Why that's a Good Thing

Sheltering-in-Place (aka the Great Pause of 2020) has shaken life, and many of us to our cores. Stripping away excess and turning inward is part of the package right now and with that big questions are bound to arise. 

I'm not talking about the kind of questions that we may have previously grappled with like 'where should I travel this year?' or 'what if I don't meet that deadline? '  - although those questions may still be looming. I'm referring to the big questions that philosophers, writers, artists and, well, many psychotherapists have long since mused about. 

• What do I value?
• What do I truly need?
• What is my purpose?
• What or who do I believe in?
• How do I reconcile the paradox of suffering with gratitude?
• How has my perception of privilege and inequity changed? Or has it?
• What lessons will I take with me when this is all over?

If you've been mulling over these questions nonstop with accompanying angst,  you're probably experiencing what was once commonly referred to as an "existential crisis," though I prefer to reframe the experience as a Great Reckoning or a Breakdown/Breakthrough Moment. 

While these periods often give way to important  personal growth spurts and sometimes greater paradigm shifts, they are often downright uncomfortable and at times overwhelming. Questioning who you are and the world around you can be anxiety producing (read: racing thoughts, difficulty sleeping, excessive worry), which is why many people avoid asking those big questions to begin with. 

For those of you wondering how to support your Great Reckoning or at least make it feel more manageable, here are three simple steps to get you started:

#1. Lean In - First and foremost, be gentle with yourself as you acknowledge the process and create space for it. Honoring our experience helps ease resistance to the uncomfortable feelings that may arise. Upping self-care, whatever that means for you, is also essential.

#2. Journal, Journal, Journal - Writing is a great way to externalize what you're thinking and decrease racing thoughts. It also helps in gaining new insights by helping us make sense of our experiences, thoughts and feelings. A visual journal is another option, which focuses more on imagery than words.

#3. Talk it Out - Find a trusted friend, family member or community leader to talk through your questions, but also know there may not be an immediate answer. Just as important to note is that if you are finding this process to be overwhelming or increasingly distressing, as it can be, please reach out to a psychotherapist to help guide you through your process. That's what we're here for!

As I finish up this post, I am reminded of a quote by poet Rainer Maria Rilke. I was first introduced to these words in graduate school as I was beginning my journey as a therapist, and they feel particularly relevant to our collective experience now. The quote goes like this:

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything."

On that note, please know I am here to support as we are all living the questions day by day in this historic time.

Till next time, wishing you peace & ease,
Jessika

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