Last week's post was about identifying and unpacking the anxiety many introverts feel as they navigate a world based on extroverted preferences. This week, let's take the conversation to the next level.

How do folks who are more introverted live their best lives when conditions can be at best uncomfortable and at worst, panic-inducing. Well, one approach is to live life on your own terms (as often as you are able), while also having an emotional first aid kit ready for when circumstances are limiting and you just can't. 

I know naming your terms is often easier said than done, but let's give it a try and explore ways you may have more power in your life than you may think.

Here are a few starting points ... 
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• Know your preferences. Knowing what makes you feel good and what doesn't is the first step in making healthy choices and setting boundaries for yourself. Do loud noises and crowded spaces drain you? Do you prefer intimate gatherings? Are you better suited for a job where you can work at home? Or maybe behind the scenes instead of with the public? These types of questions are important to ask. If the concepts of introverted/extroverted are new to you, I highly recommend reading Susan Cain's Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking to learn more about the common characteristics and needs of introverted people. Once you have the answers you can ...
• Make requests. Most folks who are extroverted would never think crowded spaces or big parties are difficult for their introverted friends and colleagues. Why? Because they experience situations and environments differently. So we have to make our preferences and needs known. For many people, making requests can be difficult, so taking small steps is a good starting point. Perhaps begin with someone you feel comfortable with and express how certain activities or environments impact you, then make a request for your preference. At work, try making small "asks" and share how such changes will support your productivity. 
• Just don't go. Remember, there will be times when you have the choice not to participate in a given activity. If staying home and reading or ... daydreaming makes you happy, do it! If you can choose not to go, give yourself that gift ... minus the guilt or shame of not adhering to traditional social pressures.
• If you do have to go or want to push yourself , prepare. What do you need to filter the sensory overload you may experience? Sunglasses, earplugs, a good playlist? Does deep breathing help you? Can you text a friend who understands? Can you limit your time? Put your supports in place ahead of time.
• And lastly, give yourself recovery time! Personally, if I have a full day of social time, I need a full day of recovery time to myself. This is not because I don't adore my loved-ones, but because I feel tired and I need to recharge. Period. As I've come to honor this need for alone time, those close to me have come to expect it and support it as well.

I hope these strategies are of some support to your  introverted souls! I'd love to hear how else you care for your yourselves. Please feel free to leave comments - you never know who you'll reach!

Till Next Time,
Jessika
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Many of my clients seek my help to "manage their anxiety."

I hear these phrases regularly: I feel more comfortable at home. I don't like going to school/work. I get nervous in groups of people. My heart beats faster when I hear loud noises, and so on ...

Well, come to find out many, if not most, of the women and girls I see in my practice are introverted, and many had no idea. The feelings of unease, worry and panic they experience are in response to a world that is made for extroverted folks.

The majority of my clients are creative, intelligent, sensitive and highly introverted, yet at some point in their lives, usually early on, they had been pathologized for not adapting to or even thriving in environments based on extroverted preferences. 

For those that are confused by the terms introverted and extroverted, put simply, introverts recharge in quiet and tend to prefer small groups or one-to-one social interaction, while extroverts tend to recharge via social activity and enjoy large groups. There is of course a spectrum, but in general we talk about folks as being introverts or extroverts to better understand their social needs.

That said, much of my work with introverted clients focuses on  (1) helping them understand their reactions are understandable and (2) helping them identify ways to best take care of themselves in an extroverted world.

​This can be tricky, and goes far beyond avoiding loud music festivals. Work and school environments are  moving toward project-based learning and team models, which can be draining for those who are more introverted. Bright lights, sounds and scents can be overwhelming. Too much talking can be overwhelming. And so it goes ... 

In next week's post, I'll talk about specific strategies to care for your introverted soul. But until then, from one introvert to another, know your introversion is not a flaw!

Till next time,
Jessika